I'm Retired! Now what?

May 20, 2026

As I fall more into the age of retirement, I notice that one way of determining a person’s age is looking at their social calendar or perhaps taking a peek at their social contacts.  If someone’s social network generally consist of a bunch of folks with the two letters “D & R” preceding their names, that’s a good sign that they’ve probably dipped into the age of retirement.  Back in my younger days my wife would inquire of my future plans with the question, “What concerts do you have planned this month?”   Now her question tends to fall along the lines of, “What doctor appointments do you have planned this month?”

These days my social life tends to fall into what I call, “The realm of the ologies” or buddyolgies.  I know that’s not a word, but over the last decade most of my social encounters have centered around my buddyolgies.  Where most guys hang out with their buddies down at the club or where ever, I hang out with the olgies.  Let’s see, there’s cardiology, neurology, ophthalmology, and for a while I seemed to have buddied up with dermatology as well.  Actually, the dermatology was supposed to be a one-time thing.  Well, it was until I met my referred dermatologist.  Not only did this dermatologist come with the highest of medical credentials, but more importantly, she was super cute!   Of course this meant one thing…follow up appointments were a must!  Well, they were a must after a quick check to see if I had reached my deductible on my medical insurance for the year.

With high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, mental illness, obesity, and a host of other issues running in my family’s medical history, I’ve tended to dip into a state of hypochondria a few times during my life.  With that being said, I was now scanning the internet to learn about different types of skin aliments that I could bounce off this cute, young epidermis expert.  Anything that might keep the conversation lively yet still professional.  I was more than happy to bound into her exam room while inquiring if I should I be concerned with eczema, psoriasis, rosacea, or fungal infections.  I spent a lot of time working out in the sun back in my younger days.  Could that be an issue now?  How about scabies?  Leprosy?  I do tend to hang out at Renaissance fairs from time to time.  Could I have picked up the black plague there from some of the more devoted Renaissance fair junkies?

Indeed, my imagination tended to get a bit wild, but seriously, how many places can a guy in his late fifties go and have some super-hot doctor in her late twenties say, “Take your shirt off and let’s have a look at you.”  A lot of patients prepare for doctor appointments by fasting or cutting down on their bad habits.  However, for these skin appointments I was killing myself with the bench press to work on my pecs as well as hundreds of crunches and leg lifts just so I might have some trace of muscle definition for my dermatology exams.  My skin was always fine, but my stomach muscles were killing me!

As fate would have it, my super cute dermatologist moved her practice down south, closer to the Dallas area.   Apparently, she lived in a ritzy, north suburb of Dallas with her ritzy, doctor husband.  It’s just as well because I was running out of skin aliments and symptoms to ask her about anyway.  I suppose there is a silver lining here.  With my pretty dermatologist’s departure, I was suddenly cured of all my self-diagnosed skin aliments, and I can honestly say that I haven’t felt the need for a dermatology appointment since, and as an added bonus, my pectorals look great!