September 30, 2026
Buying a new lawnmower is always a big event for me. This is mainly because it doesn’t happen very often, and when I came to the conclusion that my beloved push mower was about to bite the dust I wanted to scream out, “I’ve only had this thing for….well, maybe ten years. Okay, it was probably closer to twenty years, but it seemed like just yesterday I was bringing the shiny thing home. I’ll say shiny because after all the wear, grease, and dirt it’s gone through I’m not really sure what color it is.
My house is right, smack in the middle of an acre lot, meaning I’ve probably got too much lawn for a push mower. In fact, I met a guy from San Diego a few weeks ago who lived in a condo. When I told him that I had an acre of land he acted as if my home was out on an open range. Okay, that may be a bit extreme. I do, however, possess a riding mower, but there are those times when a man’s just got to mow! It’s one of the last manly activities left for the normal guy. Besides, I feel kind of weird driving all the way to my gym to sweat it out for an hour on an elliptical and then come home and ride a lawn mower around my yard. When the Texas weather isn’t scorching down hell on earth, I actually enjoy the mowing workout. However, those in my neighborhood don’t share such a view. There have been times when I’m out pushing my mower for hours on end, and my neighbors have felt pity for me. Some have even offered to loan me their riding mower while others have actually volunteered to mow my lawn with their industrial size, zero turn riding mowers. One afternoon while I was pushing my mower around my yard a neighbor, who I had never even seen before, pulled his car over in front of my lawn. He just wanted to inform me that he was moving to a high-rise apartment in Dallas, and his riding lawn mower was for sale!
Perhaps mowing the entire yard with a push mower may seem a bit extreme because the job takes me around four hours to pull off, but it does wonders for my blood pressure. Even when I have a weak moment and surrender to the convenience of my riding lawn mower, I still need a push mower to get to those tight places that are too cramped for my rider and too big to take out with a weed whacker. So with this in mind, I ventured down to the local Home Depot, mainly because I had a $15 coupon for any purchase over a hundred bucks, and I’m a sucker for a good coupon!
The world of push lawnmowers have changed a bit since I last went shopping for one. For starters, most of the ones I found on display were electric. To be honest, I actually remember the first electric lawnmower I ever saw back in the 1970’s. The thing came with a cord that was plugged into an extension cord connected to a wall socket. I’m a bit leery concerning electric lawn mowers though. I have an electric weed whacker and the thing carries a charge for around ten minutes if I’m lucky. With all the required charging, my weed whacking job now takes me around four days to complete. With that in mind, I gave very little consideration to the electric mowers. When they start coming with solar panels or wind generators, I might consider one. A lawn mower with a nuclear reactor wouldn’t be a bad idea now that I think about it.
Most of the push mowers on display were huge beasts that were self-propelled, which is something that I’m not too crazy about either. Once I left my parent’s house they shelled out the extra cash for a self-propelled mower, and when I used to stop by for a visit and mow their lawn, I learned to hate the thing. The entire point of having a push mower in my mind is the fact that I can push it forward and pull it back when need be. However, the push me, pull me method of lawn mowing doesn’t work well with a self-propelled mower. Besides, what kind of real man uses a self-propelled mower anyway?
I suppose if I really wanted to release my inner beast as far as lawn mowing is concerned the store did carry a totally retro push mower. This is the kind of mower that has no engine of any kind. My parents had an old mower like this, but as I recall, it was just a rusty piece of junk metal that my dad kept around just to remind him of how bad the old days really were. I didn’t realize that people still used these relics from the past. Apparently, the environmentalist who doesn’t like noise and has no interest in mower maintenance can shell out 100 bucks for such a mower. As far as I’m concerned, this type of mower is just one step above fencing up the yard and turning out some sheep to graze.
I finally settled on the smallest and least expensive mower that carried something that resembled an engine. After shelling out a few bucks north of $300 for the mower, I had to wonder if this just might be the last push mower I will ever buy. For the moment though, the mower is still in its box because apparently the skies of North Texas forgot how to generate rain this summer. My grass hasn’t shown any interest in growing since early July, and even though my house sits on an acre, I can basically mow the few blades of growing grass of my lawn with my weed whacker, even with its ten-minute charge.
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