November 11/5/026
Because I wasn’t putting out any effort in the way of Halloween decorations this year and I couldn’t find anyone interested in going to a haunted house with me, I decided to commemorate Halloween in the laziest way possible. This, of course, is the couch potato activity of watching scary movies. I figured if I watched 31 scary movies during the month of October, I could enter November thinking that I had put forth a noble effort in celebrating Halloween!
So with the help of NETFLIX I was able to pull off the cinematic feat, as well as watch a few freaky TV series as well. In recent years, I was under the impression that scary movies, for the most part, tend to fall into three categories. There are movies that deal with slashers, demon possession, and the always popular zombies. My personal knowledge of slashers is pretty limited thank goodness, but there have been a few times in my life when I truly believe that I’ve run across a few possessed souls. I especially carried such a belief when my two step kids entered their teen years. I’m not sure even an exorcist straight from Vatican City would have driven the evil spirits out of those two wild kids. And of course, after a career of working the nightshift, I’ve become a bit too familiar with zombies as well. Management used to call us night shifters vampires, but I’m pretty sure we carried more zombie characteristics than vampires.
However, after a little in-depth study, I discovered all kinds of horror movies. I watched everything from a remake of the classic Frankenstein yarn to the story of a group of English guys who got lost in Norway and stumbled across a group of nature loving, creepy folks who worshiped some great deer god. I also came to the conclusion that there are enough slasher, zombie infested, demon possessed, cult loving, witchcraft, werewolf, evil robot, and alien movies out there to keep my spine tingling deep into next summer! There’s killer prom queens, flesh eating dinosaurs, and even a horror movie about creepy people who were making a horror movie! You’ve got to love that! I’m sure I could have even found a haunted porn flick had I dug deep enough…or had any interest.
Although I generally like tales of blood suckers, the only vampire movie I saw this season was when I took a plunge back to the 1970’s and pulled out my wife’s old DVD of Salem’s Lot, which is kind of a lame movie, but it was a nice change of pace. At least most vampire movies usually have a dedicated plot. Even the ones reaching all the way back to the original Dracula talkie flick from 1931. As a side note, I actually read the book Dracula, and any movie is a whole lot better. I’ll file it as one of the worst books I’ve ever read. The only werewolf movie I found for the month was called Viking Wolf which is some Norwegian film. It had an original plot, and I didn’t think it was half bad. I’m not sure what my favorite werewolf movie is, but I remember thinking that the Howling was pretty awesome back in the day. I guess someday I’ll just have to break down and watch American Werewolf in London. I hear it’s a classic.
I can see the appeal of zombie movies to film makers. Very little plot is required. Pretty much all zombie movies have the simple story line where some virus breaks out and turns everyone into zombies, and the rest of the movie focuses on a massive horde of zombies chasing non zombie folks around while trying to eat them. Although zombies have basically remained the same over the years, I have noticed that modern zombies tend to run a lot faster in today’s movies. I was always under the comforting thought that I could out run a zombie. Now I’m not so sure.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is truly a must see! Well, it is only a must see if you’re familiar with the original Jane Austen story. My mom was a huge Jane Austen fan so I know the plot of Pride and Prejudice pretty well, and this movie tends to keep with the original storyline, give or take a few zombies anyway. Although I threw in a couple of Resident Evil zombie movies for the month, I discovered a Korean zombie series called All of Us Are Dead that was pretty addictive. The zombie plot was pretty standard, but the show centered around a bunch of Korean teenagers who spent the entire series trying to keep from getting zombie bit while still going through all the awkward teenage crap. While fighting for their lives against the undead they still had the energy to concerned themselves with grades, popularity, and wondering if that certain cute girl or boy liked them. Even though the undead was basically at their heels for the entire series, these kiddos were also experiencing those terrible teenage issues of wondering if all this zombie survival will get them into college or crushing on the school’s beauty queen and then thinking, “Oh, never mind. She’s a zombie now, and she’s really not that hot anymore.”
I did mix things up a bit by watching the animated movies Hotel Transylvania I and II on SHOWTIME. Indeed, Adam Sandler really outdid himself with these flicks. However, now I’ve discovered that there are two more movies in the franchise. Oh well, next year, I guess. For this year though, I found a few possession movies that were worth watching. Mudborn was a Taiwan movie that I thought pulled out a few new angles concerning demon possession. However, my favorite possession experience for the Halloween season was the Korean series Parasyte: The Grey where a bunch of alien parasites had invaded South Korea by ripping people’s heads off and jumping into their bodies! The way the critters would break out of their host’s head was a sight to behold! That certainly beat the heck out of any silly demon possession. Linda Blair’s head spinning around was nothing compared to the wild, crazy tentacles flaying around out of someone’s neck!
Although I couldn’t find any real monster movies per se, I did find a few natural monster movies, meaning normal, bad ass animals that you just don’t want to mess with! The Beast was about some pissed off lion that tries to take out a family of tourist who are vacationing in the African wilderness. Under Paris took to the water where a killer shark, who had adapted to fresh water, was munching down on the fine folks of France in the rivers of Paris. All this fun was finished up with a series called Below which covered a giant squid who was wreaking havoc on a small village in Eastern Canada. However, my favorite monster flick was The Silence which focused on a bunch of flying, flesh eating verminous creatures that had been released from deep inside a cavern. Because these hungry critters were blind from living in the depths of the earth, these they homed in on sound and brought death and destruction to anything that made noise. Okay, this was probably an actual monster movie by definition, but I considered it as inspiration to learn sign language.
One of my favorite horror movies of the season was The Babysitter. I liked it so much I even took in the sequel. Not only was this a great slasher movie, but it carried a little demon possession as well. Wow! A twofer! And as an added bonus the babysitter was pretty hot, for a teenage girl anyway. Speaking of sequels, I broke down and watched M3GAN 2.0 as well. Where the first M3GAN movie was pretty creepy, the sequel was more like a high-tech, super hero movie! However, when the new improved M3GAN 2.0 tries to comfort Allison William’s character by singing Kate Bush’s song Woman’s Work I nearly rolled off my couch from laughing so hard. I don’t know who came up with that scene, but it was truly Oscar worthy!
- The Babysitter: NETFLIX
- There’s Someone In Your House: NETFLIX
- Blood Red Sky: NETFLIX
- Hellhole: NETFLIX
- Resident Evil (2026): CINEMARK
- Ouija: Origin of Evil: NETFLIX
- No One Gets Out Alive: NETFLIX
- The Boogeyman: NETFLIX
- 28 Years Later The Bone Temple: NETFLIX
- Mudborn: NETFLIX
- Viking Wolf: NETFLIX
- Countdown: NETFLIX
- Avengers Doomsday: CINEMARK
- Heart Eyes: NETFLIX
- Sister Death: NETFLIX
- The Babysitter, Killer Queen: NETFLIX
- The Ritual: NETFLIX
- Resident Evil, Death Island: NETLIX
- Five Nights At Freddy’s 2: NETFLIX
- Viral: NETFLIX
- The Silence: NETFLIX
- M3GAN 2.0: NETFLIX
- In The Tall Grass: NETFLIX
- Valley of The Dead: NETFLIX
- Army of The Dead: NETFLIX
- Kingdom Ashin of The North: NETFLIX
- Hotel Transylvania: SHOWTIME
- Hotel Transylvania 2: SHOWTIME
- Under Paris: NETFLIX
- Ready Or Not: NETFLIX
- Beast: NETFLIX
- Classic Horror Story: NETFLIX
- Elixir: NETFLIX
- Salem’s Lot: DVD
- The Fog: DVD
- Frankenstein: NETFLIX
- Parasyte: The Grey: NETFLIX
- All of Us Are Dead: NETFLIX
- Below: NETFLIX
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