November 9, 2026
The midterm elections came and went this last week, and as far as I’m concerned it couldn’t have been over fast enough. Although my older brother could have argued politics with a deaf horsefly, I can’t stand to argue politics, and I’d rather have someone discuss their last bowel movement with me than tell me their views on politics. However, every two years we have to suffer through all the politics, and this means all the political adds. There were so many political signs in my neighbors’ yards that I got them confused with all the other signs cluttering up the yards. I got screwed up to the point that I might have voted for a realtor for senate and roofing company for governor.
I don’t watch much network television anymore, but the political adds still seem to find a way to bombard me until I want to run out and commit a felony just so I can say “I can’t vote! So leave me the heck alone!” Okay, that might be a bit extreme, but I did get pretty sick of all the political adds that kept telling me how one candidate married his sister while the other candidate paid his way through college by selling crack cocaine to jr. high kids. Even if I didn’t watch TV, these adds invaded my YouTube videos with reckless abandon! I’d be rocking out to some killer classic rock concert and right in the middle of my favorite guitar solo some add would appear out of nowhere, telling me why I should vote for this senate candidate. This, of course, would be directly followed by some other add telling me why I shouldn’t vote for that very same candidate. I just wanted to hear Deep Purple play Smoke on The Water! Is that too much to ask?
However, there were a few times when I’d get the political attack from normal TV. When I’d sit down for my noontime dose of The Bold & The Beautiful the politics would strike without mercy! Between the Preparation H and anti-depressant medication commercials I’d get blasted by all the smear ads. These would be the political attacks that would portray the menacing opponents in grainy, black and white photos or videos that resembled something that looked like it was taken by a 1950’s surveillance video that the Russians used back in the cold war. And while this low light, grainy video or photo takes over the screen some dude with a breathy, sinister voice would lay out such claims pertaining how the evil political opponent wants to turn our sons into girls and then sacrifice them to Satan! This contemptuous add would be directly followed by an opposing ad telling me how the other guy or girl spent time as a KGB agent for the old Soviet Union before becoming a hitman for the local drug cartel. And of course, these adds would always be concluded with the old, “He’s too liberal! He’s too conservative! He’s a Nazi! He’s a cannibal! He’s too weird for public office. He’s too short! He’s too fat! He’s too bald!” Geez, all this drama was way more disturbing than anything my cheesy soap opera could dish out!
And it didn’t just stop there! There were all the freaking texts messages! My phone was beeping with more text messages than the most socially active teenager could ever dream of getting! I have no idea how many text messages I received during this election season, but I’m guessing I was receiving at least ten a day for two or three weeks! Every time I’s heard my phone beep, I got all excited thinking that there actually might be someone out there who wanted to talk to me. Then my spirits would drop like a rock when I discovered it was just the same old, “Vote for me, because the other guy is a communist, nazi, animal torturing, child beating, Satan loving, creep! I heard somewhere that nearly half a billion dollars was blown on the campaign funds for the two people running for the Texas senator office alone! And that was just ONE election!
Although my brother couldn’t wait to turn eighteen so he could vote in elections, I didn’t start voting in elections until later on in life. To be honest, there was really no candidate that I felt strongly enough to support or disliked enough to vote against. I think all candidates have their good, bad, and ugly parts about them. However, if there’s anything that turns me off concerning politics it’s the gosh awful and dreaded celebrity support. I just have to wonder if movie stars and music stars know how annoying they are when they take a political stand, regardless what side they’re on! As far as I’m concerned, having a celebrity endorsement for a political candidate is like tying an anvil around their neck and tossing them into the ocean.
Regardless who I vote for, Margaret and I always take in the early voting. So the Thursday before election day we were whipping out our photo I.D.’s at the voting office. While proving who we were, I noticed a sign on the wall telling us not to wear any political supporting shirts or caps and keep our political views to ourselves while standing in line. I asked the lady working the desk if that had ever been a problem. “Sometimes,” she answered. She claimed that such an issue usually led to a very awkward discussion. I’ve actually considered volunteering at the voting place, but now I’m starting to wonder if that’s such a good idea.
Over the past few elections Margaret and I have started a tradition when voting. Of course we show up for early voting, but the most important part of the voting procedure is the much anticipated, after voting lunch! After we’ve carried out our civic duty as citizens, we march on down the street to the Sage restaurant for a little post political pleasure! Maybe our trip to the early voting booth made a difference in the way our country is run or maybe it didn’t. To be truthful, I just wanted to eat.
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